Grief as a parent

To grieve as a parent is a strange thing

The absence of processed feelings

There are still dishes to wash

And a kitchen to clean.

There’s still food to prep

And kids to feed.

Wanting to have a moment alone

But the pile of laundry won’t help its own

There are still clothes that need to be washed and hung,

School drop off’s to be done.

Tantrums to tend to,

All while attempting to be calm.

Bottling up feelings because you cannot release

Can I have some time alone please.

Going back to work because you need to get paid

Really, none of us are here to stay.

Someday, they will mourn after us too,

Attending endless chores, they will get through.

“It takes a village”

It takes a village

Yet I’m stranded at sea

Not knowing how to swim,

Nobody taught me.

I’m building a raft on my own

No instructions, all alone.

Sometimes I lose myself

And I can’t find my way back home.

If I knew it would be like this,

Would I have started this trek?

It seems almost impossible

To start something you don’t know.

How did everyone else survive?

Drowning by my own weight now

By the baggage I carry

I have brought too much with me

I can’t let go, even though I’m trying.

Get them off me and set me free.

I find a rope

The One I’ve been seeking

It’s slippery but I’m holding on

I need You, even though You don’t need me.

The only way to get through this is to hold tightly

Despite the tsunami

I guess I don’t need the village,

If I have You, I already have everything.

Kun fayakun.

Guess who.

Hello, you.
You crept around the corner,
I didn’t see you coming
Hello, you
You make me feel a new kind of way.
I hope you’re not here to stay.
Hello, you
I want you gone once and for all
But I don’t know who to call.
Hello, you
Unwanted guest
Leave at my behest
Can’t handle this mess.
Hello, you
You are a pain in my behind,
Making me lose my mind.
I need you to be gone.

What are you trying to prove?
Hello, anxiety.