Grief as a parent

To grieve as a parent is a strange thing

The absence of processed feelings

There are still dishes to wash

And a kitchen to clean.

There’s still food to prep

And kids to feed.

Wanting to have a moment alone

But the pile of laundry won’t help its own

There are still clothes that need to be washed and hung,

School drop off’s to be done.

Tantrums to tend to,

All while attempting to be calm.

Bottling up feelings because you cannot release

Can I have some time alone please.

Going back to work because you need to get paid

Really, none of us are here to stay.

Someday, they will mourn after us too,

Attending endless chores, they will get through.

Unexpected

Who am I you ask. 

But you answered your own question. 

Someone who has built sturdy walls to keep out the pain. 

Walls I have worked tiresly to build. 

But one by one you’re tearing them down

As if that’s what you were sent for. 

Do I hate it? 

Surprisingly not. 

I am lost for words because you have given me something I never thought I would have. 

Just like the hadith where we are told if we enter Jannah, we will forget all of our worldly hardships. 

Being with you is similar to that. 

Like my heaven on earth, 

You make me forget the times I didn’t want to live 

Because life was tough. 

But now you are here, 

And that’s enough. 

So be patient with me, 

It takes a while for me to open up

As much as I want to tell you everything, 

Sometimes the words don’t come out.